Kate Lawler says she hit rock bottom with ‘terrible thoughts’ from postnatal depression

‘I hit rock bottom’: Kate Lawler admits she ‘struggled every day with terrible thoughts’ during ‘darkest depths of postnatal depression’

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Kate Lawler has detailed the moment she ‘hit rock bottom’ during her battle with postnatal depression on Thursday.

Speaking on Lorraine, she admitted that she ‘struggled every day’ and suffered with ‘terrible thoughts’ when she was in the ‘darkest depths of post-natal depression.’

The television personality, 41, welcomed her daughter Noa, one, with her partner Martin ‘Boj’ Bojtos, 38, last year and has candidly spoken about her battle.

‘I hit rock bottom’: Kate Lawler, 41, admitted that she ‘struggled every day’ with ‘terrible thoughts’ during ‘darkest depths of postnatal depression’ on Thursday

Kate confessed that for some women, motherhood ‘comes naturally’ but for her it was ‘overwhelmingly challenging.’

She admitted: ‘For me, the first year of motherhood was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I didn’t enjoy every aspect of it. For a lot of those early newborn days, I was struggling everyday.

‘That was the moment I hit rock bottom, when I was in the deepest, darkest depths of postnatal depression. I had terrible thoughts about what I might do to myself and Noa. ‘

Honest: The television personality welcomed her daughter Noa, one, with her partner Martin 'Boj' Bojtos, 38, last year and has candidly spoken about her battle

Honest: The television personality welcomed her daughter Noa, one, with her partner Martin ‘Boj’ Bojtos, 38, last year and has candidly spoken about her battle

Kate detailed that for some women, motherhood 'comes naturally' but for her it was 'overwhelmingly challenging'

Kate detailed that for some women, motherhood ‘comes naturally’ but for her it was ‘overwhelmingly challenging’

She continued: ‘I feel awful for even feeling like I might have come close to doing something like that. I feel for all those women who’ve had those feelings but weren’t able to share them. ‘

Reassuringly Kate added: ‘It’s ok to love your child with every fiber of your being but not enjoy the day to day of parenting.’

Following the launch of her new book, Maybe Baby: On the Mother Side, the former radio presenter explained that having a child ‘wasn’t on her radar’.

Scary: She said: 'When I was in the deepest, darkest depths of postnatal depression, I had terrible thoughts about what I might do to myself and Noa'

Scary: She said: ‘When I was in the deepest, darkest depths of postnatal depression, I had terrible thoughts about what I might do to myself and Noa’

Reassuringly Kate added: 'It's ok to love your child with every fiber of your being but not enjoy the day to day of parenting'

Reassuringly Kate added: ‘It’s ok to love your child with every fiber of your being but not enjoy the day to day of parenting’

She said: ‘For a long time I was very happy being child free. Even when I met the love of my life and he spoke about his desire di lui to be a dad, I said it wasn’t on my radar.

‘I never thought I’d have a baby. When we told everyone I was pregnant, everyone thought we were winding them up. ‘

Kate detailed her journey into motherhood, as she explained that her visit to a fertility clinic revealed that she might go into ‘early menopause.’

Family: She explained: 'For a long time I was very happy being child free.  Even when I met the love of my life and he spoke about his desire di lui to be a dad, I said it wasn't on my radar '

Family: She explained: ‘For a long time I was very happy being child free. Even when I met the love of my life and he spoke about his desire di lui to be a dad, I said it wasn’t on my radar ‘

She added: ‘I was told my AMH blood count that I had indicated I might go through early menopause and wouldn’t have any eggs left. I wouldn’t have a choice. That was definitely a contributing factor.

‘Covid hit and our wedding was canceled. We knew we weren’t getting married for another year and it kept going around in my head, what if we wait another year and it’ll be too late. ‘

Kate said that her age was another factor as she added: ‘Then I turned 40 and thought, I’m definitely in the last decade of my life for trying for a baby.’

Contributing factors: Kate detailed her journey into motherhood, as she explained her visit to a fertility clinic revealed that she might go into 'early menopause'

Contributing factors: Kate detailed her journey into motherhood, as she explained her visit to a fertility clinic revealed that she might go into ‘early menopause’

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